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You are seconds from changing your life!

Posted by on 8:35 pm in Coaching, Goals | 0 comments

Have you ever been in bed and the alarm clock goes off and you think to yourself damn I was going to go to the gym but what does it hurt if I just snooze for 10 minutes? What about when you come home and know you need to put away the laundry or clean up the office but you watch an episode of Game of Thrones instead? What about when you need to check some emails or make appointments but you just don’t feel like it? Well, I am telling you right now, that kind of behavior will not change your life. What you need to realize is that you have all of 5 seconds to make a decision to just do it. If you procrastinate it will just go on your endless to-do list. Right. Not so fun is it? There are some solutions to this problem that can help you to stop procrastinating and start taking action. Number one Countdown Here is the thing if you are in bed for instance and you hear your alarm and think to yourself, OMG are you serious, its like 6 am I really going to get up to go to the gym or finish a project just count from 5 to one and then spring to action. Train your brain to understand the concept of the countdown. If you can do this your body will almost automatically start taking action. 25-minute rule Number two The five-minute rule I love this one! I use it all the time. When you see something that needs to be done but you think to yourself, man I don´t feel like this right now just tell yourself that you will give it 5 minutes. Here is the key. Be in the moment when you do it and before you know it you are not only consciously ready to do it but you will stop thinking about how much you don´t want to do it. My bet is that you will want to finish the task and will forget about everything else. Number three Take action right away Here is something I do. I HATE leaving things for later because if I do they just end up on my to-do list which can become overwhelming. If you do it the second it comes up it’s done and you can take a deep breath. It’s OVER: Number four Put it on your calendar How annoying is it to get a reminder on your calendar and pushing snooze endlessly. Try putting all your to does in a perpetual state or a recurring state and focus on using this as a driving force to using rule number three. Number five Sticky system If you like stickies this is for you. Put all your stickies of your to does in a very prominent place in your house where everyone can see them. You can only throw them out when you have completed them. Let me tell you, this is a great motivator especially when you have company coming. Number six Reward system Who doesn’t like a reward? If you make a rule that if you do something you really don´t want to do that you can then do what you really want to do and stick to it you will get more...

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How to go to University after 40

Posted by on 12:22 am in Uncategorized | 0 comments

OK so here it is. Here in Iceland it is very common to go to University as an adult. I am by far not in the older faction of students at school. I see many people older than me working there but´s off to make a better life or to follow their dreams. I love it. We the older people have a totally different experience than the younger generation. We demand respect and when we don´t get it we become insulted. I have experienced more in the last 5 months than in the last few years. I have become an advocate for respect at school. Here is my experience; So I show up totally unexperienced and have no idea of what to expect. I haven’t been in school for a long time) over 20 years). My first week was all about shell shock and dealing with the aftermath. The next week the anger set in. Where do I start? The teachers speak to everyone like children, “kids lets settle down” really? Why are you walking out I am not finished (answer my kid needs to be picked up from daycare) The questions on the tests are either, you looking for exact sentence quotes in a 1000 word book or questions that are misleading, double negatives or too hard to understand. (If I actually understood the question I would probably have a good chance of answering) Most of the teachers are very good but the culture of trying to screw you over is overwhelming. I would be a pretty good student if I only understood what they were asking and what the answers actually meant. Is that really OK? Do we want Universities to act this way? I spoke to the head of the business department and told him that I felt they were tripping children just learning to walk without a response. (We are the kids learning to walk they are tripping us) I seriously feel if you are teaching you should teach for success not failure. They have classes where teachers go through the examples but I and many others feel that all you do is copy off the board in a frenzy and really don´t learn much. They encourage discussion but don´t really like to have opinions that are not exactly what they expect. I have a lot of opinions and questions and so do many of the other mature students but we feel that they are unwelcomed. I would like to see a class for new students that show you the ropes, how to study and how to figure out what is important. By the way, announcing you have a high failure rate is NOT a good advertisement, especially when the school notices and decides your class is no longer composer because the failure rate is not helping the schools reputation. Don´t get me started. I have now figured out how to study ( 20%) and do not have a breakdown at each class. I know I do not need to attend every class and understand that classes are a guideline. I have grown up a lot (funny I am over 40) and have learned a lot that I have forgotten immediately. Funny story; I was interviewing an intern the other day that said that he...

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When Mental health Issues get in the way

Posted by on 10:39 pm in Uncategorized | 0 comments

I deceided to go to university last year, more as a thought than a deecision. I applied on a whim, paid to make sure I had some options and bought books to see what it was all about. I showed up that first day thinking that I would try it for one day which turned into a week then a semester. I had my breakdown, thought I would quit, a story for another time but persisted. I was having multiple panic attacks a day, understandibly it was a new experience and it infringed on my grownup relaxed lifestyle. It was horrible yet great at the same time. I have had many panic attacks in the past and know how to get through them. I realize that I wont die, I will get through it and after a little while ( sometmes a long time) I will be OK. Most people don´t understand but that is OK but sometimes I get frustrated because I have to work so much harder for the same results because I spend half my time trying to deal with my emotions while they are at keg parties. ( not interested in being there I would feel the need to pull the mom card). I have had to work in groups with people 20 years younger than me that have much  less responsibillity. That is an experience I will tell you about later, I have been called a kid many times a week and seen disrespect that has made me furious. I have realized I feel sorry for my kids in University for not getting the respect they deserve and learned a tonn which I have forgotten imediatly following exams. I reccomend it. If you are scared, don´t think you can do it but want to try then do. it is worth the experience. You may feel very low at first but it will get better.   I am proud that I have deceided to wait until after the semester to write to the textbook authors to let them know what I think about their run on sentances constant repeating and verbal diarhea. ( tell you about it another time.)...

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8 Reasons Why You Need To Man Up And Take Responsibility For Your Life

Posted by on 12:25 am in Accomplishment, Blame, Coaching, Goals, Responsibility | 0 comments

When we are little we are cute and innocent and our biggest goal is to learn through play, relationships and experiences. We are taught to listen to our parents, to be nice to our siblings, not to hit or pull hair. We are encouraged to be kind and to apologize when we do something wrong. We go to school where we are taught to follow the rules, not to tattle on anyone and to conform to the school policy and culture. We learn to look past things that bother us because to deal with them would cause conflict. We graduate to middle school and begin to compare ourselves to others, affecting our self esteem and causing us to learn the fine art of gossiping, blaming and denial. We see this big crowded world as an intimidating place where things happen to us, a place where we have no control, and we don´t. Kids usually are not taught to feel autonomous, to feel in control of their destiny and in charge of their actions and the consequences that follow. As teens we learn the almighty power of taking our freedom away. The grounding is painful especially when there is a party we want to go to but cant. The natural response for a teen is blame, the parents are being meen, their friends talked them into it, it was an accident, they didn’t mean to do it, they forgot. Rarely, if ever do teens say to themselves well I created this situation and now I am experiencing the consequences. I wonder what I could have done differently to get a different result and what I need to do in the future so that i don’t land in this position again. As adults we have gone through the formative years not really learning to succeed, to have a fulfilling life and how to get what we want. The result is divorce, depression, drinking to much, stress, anxiety, not reaching goals, not having goals, achieving less that your potential and much much more. You can fill in the blancs. So what can you do to fix this problem? You can begin to take responsibility for your life. You can stop the blame game because everything you experience you created by past action. You can start saying how you really feel, speaking up in meetings, having an opinion and learning to say no when you are overwhelmed. You can start looking at your life from a different angle. Take a moment to look back at your life so that you can discover how had you taken different actions, made different decisions, reacted in a different way how your life would be different. Hey we all make mistakes. What makes the difference is how we deal with them. So the next time your spouse has been getting on your nerves don’t tell a friend let your spouse know. If you are in a meeting and have to disagree with the decisions being made speak up. If you are overwhelmed speak to the person that can change the situation and learn to say no. You are the only one in responsible for your life so take charge and make it a good one.   drifa@balancedmompreneur.com Want to use this on your website or ezine? Great!...

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Get A Clue! 6 Reasons Your Life is a Mess!

Posted by on 6:24 pm in Coaching, Feeling Overwhelmed, Happiness, Motivational, Productivity, Relationships, Responsibility | 0 comments

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  Are you going through life clueless about what is going on around you and basically just stumbling along the path set out for you? Do you feel lost and off track? Does it seem like everything is against you? Do you find yourself complaining about others, work, your life or your relationships to people that can in no way do anything about it? Do you feel like you have tons of potential but that you don’t seem to be able to tap into it? Thats very common but not something you need to feel if you are ready to make a change. Life is a wonderful thing. It will leave you clues if you are doing the wrong thing and will reward you when you do the right thing. We have all had that feeling of elation when everything just seems to go right, you love your job, you have a great relationship, opportunities just seem to come to you. the opposite can happen to when things seem much more difficult. You may be stressed at work, unhappy at home, overly tired or irritable. These are all symptoms of the frustration that you feel because you don´t feel your life is going as it should. If you feel that way it means that you know there is something better out there for you and that you can obtain it, so my question to you is why don’t you?   You see the signs, but don´t recognize them as an opportunity for change and don’t act on them. In life we have opportunities to see what is not working in our lives because the universe tells us when something is not right. If you just look for clues you will find them. These clues come in the form of things that are not going the way you want them to go. They can be that your cat constantly pees in the flowerpot (what are you going to do about that), your kids room is always messy, you constantly lose your keys, your overwhelmed at work and have no energy for anything else, you are out of shape, overweight, stressed or in a bad relationship. These are all clues that your life is not going as it should. Solution – Stay present, notice what is going on around you and ask yourself why it is happening then brainstorm possible solutions that will work towards solving the problem.   You take the easy way out anytime you can. You avoid confrontation and try not to rock the boat. When you give an ultimatum you don’t stand behind it or back it up when the shit hits the fan. You make empty promises to placate others. You avoid seeing problems because then you don’t need to deal with them. Solution – Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you see a problem then take decisive action to deal with it. You don’t take responsibility for your life. Instead you blame others for your lousy life, your boss for demanding too much, your kids for not listening, the stock market for failing, your car dealer for selling you a lemon. When are you going to realize that you said yes to the extra work, you didn’t follow through on the...

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React and Fail or Respond and Conquer

Posted by on 8:29 pm in Uncategorized | 0 comments

In life we tend to follow past behaviors. We do what we have always done and we get the results we have always gotten. It sucks because we don´t get anywhere with this behavior. We can change it with a little modification called responding vs reacting. I was thinking today about the song Dear Liza. You must remember it from childhood. There is a hole in the bucket dear Lisa, Dear Lisa, there is a hole in the bucket, dear Liza a hole. Just fix it dear Liza, dear Liza, dear Liza, just fix it dear Liza, dear Liza fix it. We tend to forget that when we have a problem and we complain about it the only person able to fix it is us. We forget that we are the only ones responsible for our lives and the outcomes that come from it. We need to understand that we have control over what happens in the future by making choices that can positivly affect our lives. If we have a problem we need to either talk to the people that can fix it and ask for change or change our perception of the situation. Below are a few tips to get you started; Here is what we can do; Take responsibillity for our lives and admit that the problem is within our control to manage or deal with. ( dont get me wrong, some problems are not nessisaraly fixable but we can respond to them.) We can talk to the people that can actually influence the outcome and ask for a change. We can choose to respond to situations rather than respond to them and therefore be proctive in the way we thing and act. We can understand that life has a simple formula something happens which creates a thought which creates a feeling which invokes a response or a reaction. Now here is the thing. We can influence 2 things. We can influence our thoughts and whether we respond or react. We can do this by asking ourselves what is really happening here? Am I being reasonable? Will this matter in 5 years? Can I respond or think differently. We can also use the work by Katie Byron She says ask youself the following uestions; State your delema… Is it true? Are you absolutly sure that it is true? Can you turn it around ( see it from a different perspective? ( try three) How do you feel about that. Your feelings matter. they are exttremely important but you can choose them and your perspective. Decied whether you want to experience life from a perspective of love or fear. As always I am available for you. If you want clarification contact me for a free session. Your coach, Drifa Here is an example; You are a parent and your child misbehaves. Your parents comment— you can think that they are judging you or that they are helping you. How you preceive it will ultamatly determine whether you respond or react. Reaction; you get mad, you fight and everyone is tense Respond; you recognize they are trying to help, explore their opinion and everonne feels good They are bith possibilities and you may not consiously choose one unless you know what the ultamate goal is. You need to...

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From Mom to Mompreneur The 10 Essential Traits My Kids Taught Me about Running a Business

Posted by on 4:37 pm in Family, Feeling Overwhelmed, Goals, Happiness, Kids, Looking Inside, mompreneur, Motivational, Productivity, The at home Entrepreneur, Time Management, Uncategorized, Work Life Balance | 0 comments

Everything I know about being a Mompreneur I learned from raising my Kids As a business owner I am sure you have experienced times when you felt overwhelmed, flustered, frustrated, desperate, confused and out of your league. Some of you may have wanted to give up. You may have thought that you were in over your head. This was not the reason you got into business. You pictured freedom to choose how you spent your time, being your own boss and having time for yourself, but this is not the reality. I am going to show you that you can have all those things if you just look back at what you learned from being a parent. I have been thinking about how I learned to run a business, where I drew the wisdom from, what experiences helped me along the way and what drives me to continue even when things don´t seem to be working out. Every time I get the same answer; I learned it from being a mom. I brought up 4 children that were born within a 7 year span. During that time I learned how to negotiate, sell, market, manage my time and juggle multiple projects. My experience with my clients is that they feel that they don´t have the resources that they need to run a successful business but in this article I’m going to show you that you have all these skills inside you. You have the power to reach within you and find those resources so that you can feel more confident in your business, become a more powerful marketer, feel better about rejection and learn to push through the chaos of daily life and do what matters. While building your business you need to cultivate many skills. You need to be a one man show, marketer, sales associate, assistant, accountant, business manager and CEO. You have to be able to switch between roles quickly and efficiently. You need to manage your business while trying to ensure you still have work life balance. It’s tough, it is a thankless job and it is absolutely exhausting but it’s worth it. #1. Patience Running a household and meeting the needs of children is challenging and requires constant patience. This is not a quality many of us are born with. Most of society requires instant gratification these days. Learning to wait out the temper tantrums, setting up sleeping schedules and learning to be patient with them while trying to get them dressed and out the door taught me to appreciate the process, especially when it all worked out and I am sure it has don the same for you. #2. Consistency Without consistency when raising children you have chaos. Kids need a routine in order to feel safe and that means doing what you say you are going to do, every time. Discipline does not work without consistency and so it becomes ingrained in every parent that wants to have happy, well-adjusted and confident children. Market with the same consistency you showed your children and you will get the results you want in your business. #3. Budgeting Trying to run a household with 6 mouths to feed when you have little money to go around can be challenging. Sometimes you can only buy the necessities. You need...

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What others think of you is none of your business

Posted by on 7:14 pm in Uncategorized | 0 comments

I had someone say that to me as we were having a conversation. When it is said to you, the tendancy is to think WHAT??? but it is so true. If we are constantly thinking about what others think it will distract us from our primary goal. We need to stay focused on the ball. If you are doing what you love and what you know is your path then who really cares what the minority thinks. Stay out of other peoples business and stay in your own.   Have a great...

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Get the life you really want

Posted by on 10:06 pm in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Calm the Chaos And get the life you really want   As a life coach I have heard so many business owners say, if only there were ten of me or My business is running me to the ground, I work 18 hour days never take a day off, I make great money but at the expense of my family, I have lots of toys but don´t have time to play with them, I want to delegate but can’t find anyone to my standards, the stress is killing me, I survive life instead of living it. It breaks my heart to hear that so many people feel this way. That is why I decided to share my 7 secrets to taking on these common problems and winning the fight on overwhelm, stress and frustration. The most common reason entrepreneurs get into business is because they are excited about their concept, they are pumped to work at something they love. They want to be their own boss, the ruler of their kingdom or the top dog so that they can have the flexibility to enjoy their lives on their terms. Unfortunately that does not always happen, sometimes things go horribly wrong and there seems to be no way out. By following the 7 simple solutions below you can learn to love your life again, reclaim the passion you once had and become healthy, happy and fulfilled once again. Release the breaks – I hate to break it to you but you are not number one, you are not the only one in this world capable of running a business, one day you will be gone and someone else will take your place in this big bad world. Face it is true. –Once you make this realization you will find that a huge load is lifted off your shoulders. It feels good to know that if you need a break someone else will be there to take over.  You need to let go of the thought no one is good enough, they won’t do it as well as I can or they won’t uphold my high standards. Ask yourself who you would be without this thought and see if you don´t feel better. If that doesn´t work ask yourself if you afraid they will be better than you?   Stop doing triage – Entrepreneurs often get caught up in the thick of it. There are constant request, endless to do lists and constant emergencies so they have to constantly put out fires. Life becomes a big panic attach. They are always thinking about what they have to do next instead of staying in the moment and focusing on getting things done now. Take a minute to step back and look at what is really happening in your business. Slow down and take it on as a process instead of a struggle to survive. Your attitude and how you perceive the situation can make you or break you, so choose the one that will work for you.        Remember your dreams – When you were younger you had goals and dreams. You knew that they would work themselves out so that motivated you to build your business. You had loads of momentum, contagious passion and an unending drive to take...

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A Moment in Time- That is all we have with our Children

Posted by on 5:09 am in Uncategorized | 0 comments

I have had the opportunity to spend time with my children who have been away at university and with my daughter who is going to be away for 6 moths, my youngest who is 16 for the past month. My youngest is going to go to school in Canada while I will be living in Iceland. We have had alone time which we never have and it is awesome. We talk, laugh, are silly, make dinner and go out to book stores and find treasures. It makes me think a lot. I was at my sisters the other day and she was showing us videos of my kids when they were little. I know they should make me happy but they don´t. They make me sad because those days are gone. I will never have them back. I cant remember the faces, expressions, silliness, or funny things that they said. I draw a blank, those memories are lost. I almost want to go to a hypnotist and have those memories brought up up the surface so that I remember them. Tonight I got the thought into my head that we have a moment in time. That is it, a moment in time with our children, It is precious, wonderful and fleeting. It disappears before we know it. With that thought in mind I cherish each moment, each hour and each momentary drama that happens because I know that before I know it it will e all over. My aunt was over yesterday and she was telling me that she is 58, she knows now that time is of the essence. It will be over in less that 25 years or so. That when we look back is no time at all. Maybe it is time to let all the fears fall away, get rid of all the insecurities and just enjoy what is. This is it. This is life, today, there is nothing else. Soon we will be gone and life will go on.  ...

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