The Business of Being a Mom-How to Eliminate Stress and Love Your Life
This post is dedicated to you girls, you know who you are.
Being a stay at home mom has its perks but it also has a downside. The image of being what I call a front line coordinator is awesome for those that don’t do it. It is coveted by working moms world wide because they believe you get these incredible moments, fantastic times when you connect with your kids and that life is just easier, smoother and pleasant when you are home. We are going to explore that in this post.
What is life like a working mom?
Wake up, get the kids up, get them to brush their teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, all the while trying to get your face on, trying to do something about that hair and pick clothes so you look presentable.
You drag them to the car a panic because you are afraid you will be late for work.
Shit you forgot the lunches, OK Tim Hortons drive through and were good.
You drop them off, sad, complaining, probably missing something they really need either at school or if your a single mom at their dads later when he picks them up.
Crap, what’s next? Guilt, guilt and more guilt.
You go to work unprepared, frazzled and exhausted.
This is your life.
You struggle all day to feel like you have a handle on things, but you don’t.
Next thing you know its time for home. If you have to pick up the kids you are stressed. What do you make for dinner?
What is actually in the fridge? You need to get it over with fast because you are fading.
You get them home and they are antsy, they need your attention. They need for you to listen, be there, be present. You on the other hand are everywhere else in your mind, At work, at the grocery store, in your head.
After dinner you struggle with giving them a bath and putting them to bed. You tell yourself, I only spent 2 hours with them…I am a bad mother, why do I suck at this.
You finally sit down to work but all you want to do is tune out but the house is a mess. You clean, organize for tomorrow then flop intl bed exhausted.
The stay at home mother…
You get up with the kids, get them fed and off to school all the while juggling the needs of a preschooler. Maybe you drive them or walk, whatever, but you get it done.
You come home and see the mess. You clean it up while trying to keep the little one busy but its not going very smoothly. You feel you should do more, not cut corners so maybe you bake a lot, volunteer, drive the kids everywhere. You are their personal maid, assistant, helper.
You get lunches ready, do laundry, clean their rooms, you do what needs to be done.
You spend the day, making snacks, lunch, cleaning up toys, going to the park and grocery shopping.
When the kids come home you make them a snack, deal with the problems of the day and just try to cope.
Dinner is next on the list. You struggle to find something everyone will eat. After dinner its the usual cleanup, homework baths and bed.
You do laundry, clean the house and catch up on things that need to be done, then flop into bed exhausted.
Both seem like a struggle, both seem like an unappreciated life. Both are busy and take a strong woman to handle.
Not sounding good is it.
It really can be great if you treat your household like a business, in a sense become a mompreneur. You can make things run smoothly and make life fun, rewarding and enjoyable.
Below are some tips and tricks to help you calm the chaos in your life.
The golden rules for mompreneurs.
Delegate chores to your kids! Yes even the little ones. They can do simple tasks. Figure out what your little one likes to do and make them in charge of that task.
Below is a link to age appropriate tasks in case you are at a loss of what you can delegate.
Figure out what the kids regularly fight about and create rules that eliminate the struggle.
For younger kids have the you hit you sit rule. When they hit the hitter and the receiver both it touching each other. They then need to give each other permission to get up after a heartfelt apology. Example: I am sorry I hit you because I know that it hurt your feelings.
Make them accountable.
Don´t be a server. If they want something like a drink or a snack and they are capable of getting it they should help themselves.
make your life easy. If they want to go and play have a standard response providing it is during the accepted play time.
When they ask can I go out and play say I don´t know can you? What do you need to do before you go out? If you have already created a rule they will know what should be done before they go out and either turn around an do it if they ant to go out or stay in.
The standard currency is, is your room clean, homework done, chores done….
The onus will be on them and they will be the ones essentially deciding if they go out or not. You will be relieved of all guilt and nagging yet you will stay in perfect control.
Stop being a perfectionist!
Get help. No-one is alone in the world, find support system and use it.
Make time for you where you do something you enjoy and laying in a fetal position in bed or tuning out in front of the TV do not qualify.
Go out with the girls, trust me you need the support, laughs and fun.
Remember to enjoy the kids, have moments, play with them, laugh, be silly and enjoy them Get to know them, really know them. Talk to them, read with them and spend time with each one individually.Cleaning can wait.
Lastly remember these moments never come back, once they are gone, they are gone so pull out your smart phone and record the kids. Trust me, when they are gone.
When I look back, I wish I could live those moments once again. I wish I were in the thick of it, the fights, the sadness, the chaos and the fun.
Those moments are gold.
The lesson here is make your life enjoyable, create systems so that you can enjoy more time with your kids and have a more fulfilling life. Don´t let it pass you by in chaos and a whirl of chores and responsibilities.
This is your life, the only one you got and the only one that counts.
I am also available for coaching so that you can get your life in shape pronto.
Click here for a free consultation
Work Life Balance coach for Mompreneurs, Entrepreneurs and Single Dads